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JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

September 24th, 2007 (01:37 pm)

 So I'm in class and forgot my headphones (we're working on podcasts) so I decided to post a quick update entry.

College is going well.  Classes keep getting harder, but I suppose I should've seen that coming.  Statistics is going better than expected, but Astronomy just keeps going downhill.  The universe is just so massive and there is so much going on and how am I suppose to retain the whole universe worth of laws and characteristics and numbers into my tiny little head?  I don't understand.  But the work is okay, and I'm managing.

The friends thing is going alright, I still hang out with Ashley a lot and I have good friends in every class except Astronomy and Stats, so it could be worse.  I think I've figured out why I miss my social life at home so much, beyond the obvious.  I don't have any guy friends here except David and Brian, who I knew from home.  I'm not sure what it is- whether I'm just too intimidated or they have better things to do or what, but I need guys in my life.  Not really a relationship, because I don't really have time for that right now, but friendships.  Guys are just funnier and way more laid back.  Bleh.

This weekend I got to go home, and it was much better than the first time.  Last time I felt like it wasn't home, but somewhere new and old at the same time.  I didn't like it, because it was sooo different.  But this time it was better because I got to go to a football game and see my best friends and it just seemed normal.  Actually, at the game I ended up hanging out, for the first half of the game, with a guy I dated and subsequently obsessed over for the next two years.  He has changed a lot at college, but in a good way, and it was really nice to catch up.  Plus I had a chance to make sure I could still flirt, which is always important. Haha I'm lame.  Either way, I miss my friends already, but I'll see them soon enough (3 weeks and counting!).

Time for astronomy.  Ew.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

August 25th, 2007 (10:53 am)

current mood: amused

Well, I figured since I hadn't written in a long time, I would post a "OMG IM SO AT COLLEGE!" entry, even though I could never, ever give a title like that to a legitimate blog entry. But, alas, I am truly at college and it is pretty great so far. I like lists so here goes.

Band- I moved in the 15th for band, 4 days ahead of most of the student population, which gave me a lovely little advantage to getting to know campus. I got settled in my (AMAZING!) dorm, but not really settled because it took me three days to unpack everything. Band camp was tough but amazing, because they really have fun. Not like high school band bus fun, but like college band dancing in the stands getting the crowd pumped fun. Plus the music is quite wonderful (Ben Folds, Rolling Stones, Hendrix, Cream, Fall Out Boy, etc). The people got on my nerves a little at first because I couldn't find one person I really clicked with, until one day Ashley and I sat next to each other. More on that later, though. So now we are into marching and we have only one week til our first home game! Ahhh! I get to be the verrry end of the A in CarolinA so I'm right next to the crowd. It is lovely.

Friends- Like I said, I didn't click with anyone immediately but soon enough I found Ashley, who is pretty amazing I must say. She's from Florida/New Jersey, speaks fluent spanish (though she is way paler than me), plays flute, and has these personality traits that aren't exactly like mine but somehow click with mine. We have hung out a LOT over the past week, which is nice on a campus where it seems everyone has a group to hang out with at all times. Plus I have hung out with David, who I knew from high school/middle school/elem. school/preschool. So, slowly I am finding my niche with people. Plus there is Kristin (my roommate), Annie, and Xochitl, from orientation. I haven't hung out with them too often yet, but we have a whole year so we'll get around to it. Among the most saddening parts of my college life thusfar- I haven't met any boys. Haha I'm so thirteen right now. But really, most of my friends at home are guys, and I hang out with David here, but I don't have any new guy friends yet and that freaks me out. There is a semi-attractive sax player, a decent English major on my hall, and a very attractive trumpet player with whom I have never even spoken. Hmmm boys.

Classes- So far, so okay on the classes deal. Stats is...ugh. My prof has a strong Korean accent so it's difficult to understand him a lot of times, but I think I actually get it so far. Astronomy is...interesting. I get it so far but the prof moves from one thing to another really quickly so that's the only forseeable issue. Spanish is rather awesome, because the teacher speaks slowly, but in spanish all the time so I hear it in my head now, as I'm thinking, and I think that will lead to more success en Espanol. Plus the class is tiny, so we converse and discuss and I know almost everyone in there already by the second day. And me clase favorita- my First Year Seminar with Computers and English. My profesor is amazing, just really laid back and very tech-saavy while having a distict English major feel. So far our assignments have been to blog and make an iGoogle account, but later we have assignments to make a playlist based on a book, a Podcast, a video, an annotation to a book, and graphics collages. Awesome! This class is what I want to do for the rest of my life, I'm just not sure how to apply it to any one career. But we shall see.

And now, I am off to my grandparents for the weekend to get away from my dorm a bit. More to come as college adventures unfurl!

JJ <3 [userpic]

Terribly long catch-up entry

July 6th, 2007 (05:17 pm)
current location: On my new laptop (wooo!)

I was just perusing (sp?) my friends page when I realized how terribly long it has been since my last post. Way way way too long. Several amazing things have happened since March, so let me try to debrief you.

a) GRADUATION. Obviously a biggie in the whole life timeline thing, but really not all that dramatic in real life. Sure, it's a big step, but I believe college will be the big step in the grand scheme of things. Really all graduation was was a goodbye to normalcy. Goodbye to everything that I consider my daily routine and a hello to a new start. New friends, new ideas, new findings. Anyways, it was rather sad but at the same time sort of overrated.

b) COLLEGE ORIENTATION. Or, rather, disorientation. I am more terrified and confused than ever about good ole Chapel Hill, but in an exhilerating way. During orientation I realized how far away from home UNC really is. I mean, physically it's only about 2.5 hours, but mentally it is hours and hours. It is like nothing I've ever been through before. The people, the places, the ideas...they are all new to me. In the midst of schedule stress and running around the campus, I managed to meet a few really amazing friends. Kristin (my roommate), Annie, Xochitl, and I (now referred to as Team Locopops) found each other by chance, really. Kristin and Annie knew of each other because they run in the same circles, Xochitl met Annie in small groups, and I knew Kristin from facebook. We met up one evening before an "After Dark Social!" and found a common dislike of cheesy gettoknowya gatherings. We decided to go, instead, to Franklin St. to find out what all UNC had to offer. We ended up just wandering up and down the main strip talking about our home lives and high school and all of that, and we are all incredibly alike. Anyways, that was comforting in the midst of college prep craziness. I also met two guys in my small group, Daniel and Aaron, who impressed me quite a bit. Perhaps my curse of singleness ends sooner than expected? Also, I spoke with the band director and decided to become a Marching Tarheel. Woot woot. Now, I feel more prepared to start the year, especially with a few good friends by my side.

c) WONDERFUL SUMMER TRIPS. So far this summer I really haven't slowed down. I went to the beach with my family, then a concert with a friend, then orientation, then Washington DC with my youth group. Washington was by far the most fun/life-changing. I don't really feel like going into details currently, but it was alllllmost as good as Canada. Almost.

Man, I'm sick of typing. Sorry this was so long.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

March 12th, 2007 (03:56 pm)

current mood: contemplative
current song: Are You Ready for Love - AudioA

Today is a beautiful day :]

Spring has to be my new favorite season. Except maybe summer. I've come to dislike winter so much, which is strange because it used to be my favorite. Then again it isn't all that strange because I've changed a lot and like to think of myself as more sunshine-y and happy than I used to be. So maybe it's normal.

Last night at church we had to do a life-map and it was really interesting to see my highs and lows. Things I thought didn't matter to me did, and things I thought had a huge impact on my life never even popped in my mind until afterwards. Strange. I suppose it's all about perspective.

Speaking of perspective, I think I'm finally getting really excited for college. I was sort of dreading it but honestly I think I'll be fine. Things will be strange at first but I am so ready to move on from whatever stage I am in right now. I mean this stage isn't terrible but I feel very discontented with everything. Relationships, school, social life, even the books I loved. I used to love cheesy romance novels with predictable plots and all of that, but I tried to read one the other day and I just can't. I want more. And conversations, I've noticed, have become completely mundane. It's like, "So nice weather. Where are you going to school? Are you excited? How are things? Any good, new bands? Okay bye!" I'm tired of that. I have interesting conversations with a few of my friends every now and then but I'm tired of small talk.

Maybe I'm just moving on? I'm not sure.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

March 2nd, 2007 (12:07 am)

So Daniel and Amber called and asked if I would be in the delivery room when Alexis decides to arrive. As strange as it sounds, I am so happy :] I feel really important and supportive and honored that out of everyone they picked me.

I am strange.

JJ <3 [userpic]

Yay for Sloppy Firsts and its proximity to my desk

February 24th, 2007 (12:10 pm)

Thats what you get when parasitology books are nearby
1.] grab the nearest book.
2.] open the book to page 23.
3.] find the fifth sentence.
4.] post the text of the next three sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5.] don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! i know you were thinking about it! just pick up whatever is closest.
6.] tag five other people to do the same.

I tag :
I dunno 5 more people who havent been tagged here. So go for it.

"His lips are usually curled into a semi-smile, like he's in on a big joke that's being played on you but you don't know it yet. He always has girlfriend and he always cheats on her. Thus, Marcus is widely known by the moniker "Krispy Kreme" because he's always "burnt to a crisp" and is rumored to have "bought three boxes of donuts."

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

February 22nd, 2007 (07:04 am)

3 amazing friends + 1 beautiful, warm night = wonderful.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

February 19th, 2007 (10:33 pm)

Today, or rather, tonight, was so amazing. And I mean it's not like anything really super happened like I won the lottery or am going to Europe or whatnot, it was just great in and of itself. I've realized how easy it is to make friends if you just put yourself out there and not be scared. I mean, I guess I'm a likeable person, so why not show it?

A special thanks to the following for assisting me in recovering myself:
-Parking lot raves
-Phil, Chad, Daniel, JBob, Robert, Adam, Hailey, her adorable sister
-Hardcore dancing
-Pointing to invisible things on the sidewalk
-Robert's crazy solo
-Imogen Heap, Fatboy Slim, TI, Fergie, Gnarls

I'm sure I left something out but I feel so good at the moment. Life can be so good sometimes.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

February 15th, 2007 (08:52 pm)

current mood: confused
current song: Goodbye Blues - Tyler Burkum

Do you ever not tell anyone something, just to have something that only you know?  Lately I've been doing that more and more, over stupid things, but I just like knowing that out of the billions of people in the world, the knowledge is all mine.  Just me, no one else.

I'm not sure how I've been feeling, either.  Like, I've felt increasingly alone, and not just because I don't have a boyfriend.  Somehow it feels like I'm already letting go of the friends I know I won't have next year, and that's really scary because I don't want to lose them next year, much less now.  I just feel like there's no one person that's always there when I need them, I have lots of people that are sometimes there, which usually makes up for it.   But not lately.  I'm in my own little world.

I am also discovering, lately, how to experience happiness even when there's no one to laugh with you.  I find myself smiling in my car by myself, for no reason at all other than it's a beautiful night and I am listening to music and feeling like I can do whatever I want.  I mean, of course, I can't, but for some reason my loneliness has come with a sense of independence.

What is going on?!

JJ <3 [userpic]

The Doldrums.

February 9th, 2007 (09:37 pm)

current mood: apathetic
current song: Don't Look Back Into the Sun - The Libertines

Life is strange.  Good, but strange.  I feel like I'm in the in-between period, like everything I do is leading to something, but the end is still nowhere close to being in sight.  It's frustrating.  All I do anymore is schoolwork, think about schoolwork, and occasionally talk to friends.  But not even the really good, in depth sort of talk, just the average "Jordan I need help with this problem I'm having" sort of talk.  It's like right now my life is a book you're halfway through and you know eventually it's going to get good again but it just seems to get more and more boring, and you want to put it down.  But I know it'll get exciting again sometime I just sort of am dying to know when that will be.

This happens every February, pretty much.  I just reach this point of dying for vivid colors and warmth and seeing new sights but instead it's only cold and kind of gray-ish and the same it's always been.  Usually I'm cured about the time of Spring Break, but that's not for a few months so I guess I'm screwed.

In other news, I've unofficially decided on attending UNC Chapel Hill next year.  I guess that will be the scary, new territory I'm so obviously craving.  I'm really excited but at the same time I'm terrified of finding new friends, fitting in, feeling intelligent, not missing home, doing well in ultrahard classes, living with someone I barely know, and basically just fending for myself.  My whole life I've had my mom here for me when I was scared or nervous or stressed, and what will I do without her right there?  I'm no good at meeting people because I'm not confident, and how will I not get terribly lonely?  I guess I've just tried to figure out lately how I got the amazing friends I have now, and I can't seem to figure it out.

I need a new, interesting boy.
Any ideas?
Maybe that would cheer me up.

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