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JJ <3 [userpic]

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January 22nd, 2007 (10:30 pm)

current mood: tired

So, pretty crazy/wonderful quasi-break from school.  Let me break it doooown.

Thursday:  Had breakfast with James, went to Burn's room to hang out/talk, aced the exam with a 97, hung out in Is's room for a required 1.5 hours just playing hangman and all of that with James and Eric, went to Dante's for lunch with James, went to Blockbuster to (unfortunately) rent Saw 2 with James, went to James's house to watch said terrible movie and take dumb myspace pictures, went to Olive Garden with James & family, went to Alpha Dog with James, got depressed, and healed myself at Coldstone with James.  Summary:  the longest time I've spent with my oldest friend in quite a few years.  A total of about 15 hours :]  Good times!


Friday-Sunday:  Annual youth ski trip to Winterplace = AMAZING FUN.  I love ski trips.  Rode up there in the van mostly talking to JBob, Jake, Ashleah, and Whitney, which definitely made the trip fly by.  Friday night was spent in an equipment rental line with Jake and Tom, which was sort of funny because I'm pretty sure Tom has this little kid crush on me.  Saturday was skiday which is always my favie.  Spent most of the morning teaching/attempting to teach Jbob how to ski.  He did pretty well, especially for his first day.  Then after lunch Jake and I set out to do some of the harder slopes and did just that.  We mastered all of the blues, including the crazyscary-mogul-filled one.  It just made me realized how much I love skiing.  We picked up Seth a few times but lost him just as many times because somehow he managed to disappear a lot.  The last couple of runs were definitely my favorite, simply because I love night skiing and the lift lines were tiny.  Overall the day was super and I totally owned Jake at every single run but Meadows because Meadows sucks.  Then Dana and I stayed up until like 3 AM talking about books, which was pretty exciting because I don't talk about books as much as a I used to.  She said that I was the living embodiment of Jessica Darling (also see: Sloppy Firsts) which I considered a huge compliment.  Woot.  So overall Saturday was a success.  Then sunday was pretty tiring and boring except for the listening of amazing songs on Jordan's iPod by Jordan and Jake.
 Jake & I, and Winterplace!

Monday( today):  UNC Chapel Hill visit!  I was a little scared, but my fears were relieved and I've basically decided that UNC is my destination after this year.  Like my dad said, I fit in there better already than I have ever fit in in Caldwell County.  That has to be a start.  Plus it's pretty and intellectually stimulating!  Plus we saw Eric Thomas there, and if it's good enough for weathermen it's good enough for me.

Tomorrow:  RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS and GNARLS BARKLEY.  Mini road trip/exploration with James, meeting Jake, Nick, and Jbob!  Excited!

JJ <3 [userpic]

Le update!

January 10th, 2007 (08:36 pm)

current mood: happy
current song: CSI: LV

Hola amigos.
So it's been a little bit since I updated my LJ, but that's probably because things are going rather smooth in the world.  Here, I will divide it up for you:

1)  Phil and I broke up.  As you all know from reading my angryangry blogs about everything, things weren't going too well, so we called it quits.  "Dunzo", if you will.  I mean, I liked him (or at least who I thought he was) but if I could never see him and was constantly worried about the way he felt towards me, the relationship was doomed whether I wanted it to be or not.  But either way, we are friends still (except that we haven't really talked much) and I am pretty much back to where I was a month or two ago.  HappyJordan.

2)  I got accepted at UNC Chapel Hill. Woot!  This means I now have options, and one of those options happens to be attending a school well-known for its exclusivity and upstanding academics.  And basketball.  Whatever :]  Either way, I'm having a very, very difficult time deciding between Wingate and UNC, but I'm trusting that I will know the answer when the time is right.  I just want to be happy and have a promising future career, is that too much to ask?  I think not.

3)  One of my good friends, Amber, is pregnant.  She's 6.5 months, but I have failed to talk about this yet, so I guess now is a great time.  While I think it's a mistake and that life won't be easy for she or the baby, seeing as Amber's 15,  I'm extremely excited.  It sounds stupid to be excited over a baby who will only be a few years younger than its mother, who's father is one of my best friends but is very irresponsible, and who isn't my own, but I really am.  Yesterday, she was not feeling good at all, so Childers let me take her to the nurse's office (we have a nurse?!) and I stayed with her there for 30 minutes or so.  I really love being that person to help her out when she's crying about how pregnancy is supposed to be a joyful experience, not a terrible one, and who is the first one to be called when they find out of it's a boy or girl (it's a girl!).  However, it is wonderful birth control.  I KNOW I'm not ready to handle any of that yet, the emotional stuff and the physical.  Either way, Aunty Jordan is prepared to help out as much as she can :]  Yay

4)  Actually there is no 4, I think it's time to go.


JJ <3 [userpic]

Ah-ha blog

January 1st, 2007 (09:15 pm)

current mood: satisfied
current song: Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

This break has sort of been...crappy.  Just in general, one of the lower points in the last year.  I feel like I have done nothing but sit at home, worry, be emo, and be anti-social.  Not to mention being completely negative towards myself.  I'm tired of it.  The past week has held quite a few good points (to name a few:  knowing deep down who my real friends are, becoming better friends with some people, watching Dane Cook/South Park with Nick until we can't even speak a full sentence because we were laughing too hard, witty Pizza Hut banter with friends, singing and making a fool of myself with Meredith to the beautiful sounds of A-180, seeing Phil smile at me while he was playing, ringing in the New Year surrounded by a few AMAZING friends, driving home with JBob just being normal again(ps I missed this normalness, I'm glad JJ&Jbob are back in action))  Okay those were a lot of good points but I promise, the bad just seemed overwhelming.  Like this weird pseudo-Jordan took over and I was *shudders* emo.  Lonely and emo.  I don't like that at all and I just want to be happygolucky Jordan like I always am.

Which is why I'm extremely happy that this is a new year.  I know who I am, I know who I want to be, now all I have to do is make those two meet again.  I realize that as I get older, the "me" I want to be changes, and that no matter how hard I try, I will never be permanently happy with myself.  There's no, "Whew, did it, now I'm set for the rest of my life"...there's just a "Wow that looks good for now, whats next?"  No one will be perfect, ever.  Not even to themselves, there's always a flaw.

Lastly, I have seen that God works in funny ways.  I guess that's what emo-ness will do to you.  When I'm having a bad day, somehow the right people always know to IM or message or call or anything.  I'm pretty sure it's not coincidence that two of the easiest-to-talk-to people in my life IM at the same time on a night when I'm hurt and upset and generally pissed at the human race.  There has to be some sort of divine intervention to say "Hey she's having a bad night, talk to her".  And the greatest part is that they had no idea I was upset.  Plus I'm pretty sure my iPod is connected to a higher power, because somehow it always plays the songs I want/need to hear.  How does that work?  I'm telling you, God knows me and knows what I need, even if it's something as trivial as a song or an IM.  Weird.

So, to end this blog I say, HAPPY NEW YEAR and HAPPY NEW BEGINNINGS.

(ps Colby- it was wonderful to see you even if we never got to hang out.  Oh and Jake and I are still holding out for another Canada trip this summer, the three of us.)

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

December 25th, 2006 (06:51 pm)

current mood: good
current song: Christmas Music

In a rare moment of self-empowerment....

I am strong, I can stand alone
I am free, from worry and doubt
I am what I am
I am light, a weight has been lifted
I am full, of potential
I am who I am
I am smart, you don't fool me
I am brave, you don't scare me
I am how I am
I am honest, this is how I feel
I am good, too good for you
I am what I am
I am who I've always been
I am who I want to be
I am growing, you can't stop me
I am not sorry for who, what, or how I am
I am a product of someone much bigger
I know who I am
And I know where I stand

Ha, you can start laughing now.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

December 24th, 2006 (11:44 am)

current mood: refreshed
current song: Church on TV

So I am much much better this morning and I think it's because of church.  Church tends to cheer me up when I'm down, so yay Jesus.  lol.  I think, this morning when Sandi was praying, I kind of let go of this me that I don't like.  I want to go back to happy, non-worrisome, non-emo Jordan and I realize that I can do that.  It's a new year, soon, and there is more hope than I could imagine.  I could be coming upon the greatest year of my life, just maybe.  It's up to me.  I have the power to change my own moods, and I need to take hold of that power.  I need to surround myself with people who constantly bring me up, not drag me down.  Here's to change...beautiful, wonderous, amazing change.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

December 22nd, 2006 (12:02 am)

current mood: loved
current song: Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

Definitely just got in from one of the best nights ever.  My friends own, way more than yours.  Here's to all of you....Nick, Jake, Patrick, JBob, Whitney, Brian, Wilson.  You win.

I am sleepy now so I must sleep.


JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

December 11th, 2006 (08:29 pm)

I have just come to the conclusion that I have no life outside of school and church.

I need some new hobbies or something.

JJ <3 [userpic]

Third Period...

December 7th, 2006 (12:47 pm)

current location: Third Period
current mood: okay
current song: That would be none

This is weird, posting at school.  I'm in 3rd period and I honestly don't have anything better to do.  Love those Substitutes.

James is now reading over my shoulder and it's scaring me.
He is a bad influence.
Apparently he's taking my 13 year old brother partying next year (mom, are you reading this?) when I have no control over whether he goes or not.  He won't succeed, I've taught Jay well.

So I've had a boyfriend for over a week now and I must say it's a big change from single life.  I always forget that when I'm single, for some reason.  I mean it's not bad, it's just different.  I am highly enjoying it at the moment.   Life is...how you say...good.
Ehh I think it's time to go, because I'm out of things to talk about.


PS - Colby, Kevin is no longer coming because a) his mom and b) my boyfriend who you need to meet over Christmas.  Eeek we have to hang out I'm excited.

JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

November 11th, 2006 (11:17 am)

current mood: blah
current song: Best Week Ever

I feel like I'm missing out on something.  Like, everyone around me is having more fun than me, all the time.  I can't fake fun.  I wish I had that talent, to make it look like I was having the most fun out of everyone but I really don't.  If I'm not having fun it's obvious and I hate that.  I wish I could have real fun.

Last night's trip home was real fun but it lasted 3 hours.  Three hours of fun in like 3 weeks just doesn't work for me.  I think I need a change of scenery or just a change of life.

Maybe I'll become a recluse and read all day because books don't disappoint me.


JJ <3 [userpic]

(no subject)

October 30th, 2006 (12:07 am)

current mood: ecstatic
current song: White & Nerdy

Today has been a wonderful, wonderful day.  It has included such wonders as:

Eating cheesecake with Patrick and Jake, who I haven't seen in forever, waiting an hour Chilis, not-watching Monster House, Patrick's hitting on me very obviously, hardcore sharks and minnows, hipocracy, long talks about guys who are in jail, staying in the youth room a very long time, getting flogged with a metal belt by Nick, fedoras, Christmas music, Halloween decorations, bonding moments over weird mini-towns, reading dirty novels aloud, Magnum XLs, Pregnacy test relocation, tasty drink mixes, getting mooned by some kid at Jack in the Box (Let me jack your box/ roast your beef), long talks on the dock, marinara sauce, cursing nature, and wonderful, wonderful friends.

Yay for today.

Kevin says I look like a reporter.