current mood: apathetic
current song: Don't Look Back Into the Sun - The Libertines
Life is strange. Good, but strange. I feel like I'm in the in-between period, like everything I do is leading to something, but the end is still nowhere close to being in sight. It's frustrating. All I do anymore is schoolwork, think about schoolwork, and occasionally talk to friends. But not even the really good, in depth sort of talk, just the average "Jordan I need help with this problem I'm having" sort of talk. It's like right now my life is a book you're halfway through and you know eventually it's going to get good again but it just seems to get more and more boring, and you want to put it down. But I know it'll get exciting again sometime I just sort of am dying to know when that will be.
This happens every February, pretty much. I just reach this point of dying for vivid colors and warmth and seeing new sights but instead it's only cold and kind of gray-ish and the same it's always been. Usually I'm cured about the time of Spring Break, but that's not for a few months so I guess I'm screwed.
In other news, I've unofficially decided on attending UNC Chapel Hill next year. I guess that will be the scary, new territory I'm so obviously craving. I'm really excited but at the same time I'm terrified of finding new friends, fitting in, feeling intelligent, not missing home, doing well in ultrahard classes, living with someone I barely know, and basically just fending for myself. My whole life I've had my mom here for me when I was scared or nervous or stressed, and what will I do without her right there? I'm no good at meeting people because I'm not confident, and how will I not get terribly lonely? I guess I've just tried to figure out lately how I got the amazing friends I have now, and I can't seem to figure it out.
I need a new, interesting boy.
Maybe that would cheer me up.